


N is for Nightmares

by creatureofhobbit



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2038737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofhobbit/pseuds/creatureofhobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since she killed Lyndon, Emily has been haunted by nightmares about that night. Sometimes he succeeds in killing Paige, sometimes it is Maya, sometimes Caleb. But why does she also sometimes dream that it is Alison?</p>
            </blockquote>





	N is for Nightmares

Sometimes, when Emily closes her eyes, it’s not Paige tied up in the cupboard, but Maya. She watches, helpless to do anything to stop Lyndon. There’s no Caleb to come bursting in to save the day in this one, just like there had been no one to save Maya at the time. In that one, Emily usually wakes up before she actually sees him kill Maya, but it leaves her lying awake for hours wondering what it must have been like for Maya, knowing no one was going to come and save her.

Sometimes, when she closes her eyes, the paramedics don’t get to Caleb in time. She’s haunted by visions of Hanna’s face, knowing that it’s all her fault that Caleb’s been taken away from her, because she didn’t see Lyndon for what he really was. The days when she has that nightmare, it’s always a shock followed by a relief when Emily sees Caleb laughing and joking with Hanna as usual. The first time it happened, he’d obviously noticed something, because he’d asked her if she was okay, and Emily had hurriedly mumbled something vague so he didn’t realise what she was thinking. But every time she sees Caleb now, she still feels guilty.

Sometimes, when Emily stabs Lyndon, he doesn’t die. She runs out of the cabin, through the woods with no real idea of where she is going, just knowing that she has to get away. Lyndon follows her, chasing her with the knife. She usually wakes up before he catches her, but the whole of the rest of the day after she has that version of the nightmare she always has a creepy feeling that Lyndon’s right behind her.

Sometimes, Lyndon succeeds in his plan. Emily is forced to watch as Lyndon kills Paige, repeating over and over again what he had said about how he had to take away Paige, the person Emily loves most, because Emily had taken Maya from him. Emily knows that flashbacks to that night are still haunting Paige, and that Paige wonders how Emily can remain so strong after everything that’s happened. Emily knows that Paige should be the person she shares everything with, yet she doesn’t want to add to Paige’s fears by admitting that she has that nightmare too. 

Paige notices Emily’s behaviour, of course. She can’t help but notice. Emily feels she can’t talk to her friends, especially Hanna, about it, because she doesn’t want to hear Hanna come right out and say that she blames Emily for Caleb getting shot. In other circumstances, Paige might have been the best person for Emily to talk to. But Emily knows she can never tell Paige about the one time she had the nightmare when the person in the closet was neither Paige nor Maya, but Alison.

She’s tried to tell herself that was crazy. Alison never even met Maya or Lyndon, so why was Emily linking them in her mind? Dr. Sullivan is the only person Emily’s ever confided in about that one, the only person she’s ever felt that she can, and she’s suggested that maybe Emily’s nightmare links to her feelings about Alison’s disappearance. Emily’s talked about how the traumatic flashbacks Paige is experiencing are all down to her, how she was unable to protect Paige from Lyndon. She doesn’t mention A and the fact that A’s bound to come after Paige, but that thought is on her mind as well.

It’s crazy. Alison’s already gone. And while Emily has no clue who killed her now it’s been proved not to have been Garrett, the one thing she does know is that it can’t have been Lyndon James. There should be no reason why Emily would dream about Alison in connection with what happened with him.

Dr. Sullivan wonders if Emily is feeling guilt about what happened to Alison, about the fact that she’d been right there at that slumber party the night Alison disappeared and had slept through the whole thing. Maybe Emily’s dream was about how she felt she’d been unable to protect Alison back then.

Emily finds it easier to play along with Dr. Sullivan’s interpretation. She doesn’t want to admit even to herself that she may have dreamed that it was Alison with her that night is because there’s a part of her that never got over the feelings she had for Alison in freshman year, and it was still Alison she really loved.


End file.
